But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I met the friendliest cop last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
be right there i have to get my cape
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
