There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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