Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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