I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
