Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
