READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
