Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
