dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
