it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
