so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The beer is more important than you right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
