I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
