Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
