somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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