Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
