She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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