you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
