does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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