non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
