I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
one might say we're banned from that church
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
