Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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