I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
