So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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