she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize