Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
