I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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