He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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