i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Randomize
