I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
