Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
