I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
