Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
