i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
