This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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