i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
