There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
