I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
