Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
