So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
