OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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