cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
