i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
