it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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