Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
