Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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