jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
