Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
