Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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