do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
