Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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