belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
