i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
