dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
