All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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