She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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