Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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