you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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