I want to walk on stilts...naked
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
