i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
